Aug 30 2008
The Power of the “F” Word
Chances are you’ve suffered extreme betrayal at the hands of another human being at some point in your life.
Perhaps a partner in a committed relationship cheated on you or a best friend deceived you.
Maybe a partner and your best friend managed to do both when you unexpectedly walked through the front door of your own home and found them in a compromising position together.
Face it, we aren’t an easily-forgiving bunch. Yes, we love, we care, we so unselfishly give of ourselves to the many significant relationships which naturally define our lives.
We can be loyal and faithful servants to each other, ourselves, our country. We can even, with extreme grand gestures, insist “it’s okay” to those sudden, unexpected occurrences impacting our lives which are relatively easy and comfortable to accept.
When it comes to the hard stuff, extending real forgiveness when we feel used, abused, downright screwed? Forget it.
Saying It and Meaning It
Two of the most difficult words in the English language seem to be, “I’m sorry.” Ironically, even more difficult to express are three small words which essentially hold the power to change everything: “I forgive you.”
What is it about us that makes it such a huge challenge to unconditionally accept failings in each other as we walk through life? Of course, people we care for are destined to let us down at one time or another. We’re bound to just as easily let them down. We are, after all, only human and prone to make mistakes - extremely profound and hurtful mistakes at times - as we live our lives.
Nobody I’ve given readings to has ever demonstrated perfect behavior 50 percent of the time, let alone 100 percent of the time. Even though we insist that we deeply love and cherish those closest to us, expressing undying devotion to them “no matter what”, admit it:
The instant one of these individuals disappoints us by carelessly making extremely poor choices in their relationships with us, what happens?
We immediately turn our backs on them. We send them packing, out the door. We lash out at them by savagely declaring, “I’ll never forgive you! Get out of my life and don’t come back!”
Our hurt and anger propel us into making on-the-spot choices which may seem appropriate at the time. And yet, all we’ve really managed to do is slam a door. An extremely crucial door.
I’ve yet to know anyone who didn’t at one point or another sincerely yearn for forgiveness from a friend, co-worker or loved one over a serious mistake in personal judgment. Whether it was a betrayal between friends, infidelity on the part of a mate, or a breach of faith between co-workers, eventually the need for forgiveness and redemption simply couldn’t be avoided any longer.
As this need intensifies, urgent phone calls get made, sometimes in the middle of the night. Letters of apology are written. Seemingly out of the blue, we find ourselves hearing from someone we severed ties with years ago, someone who unexpectedly seeks us out just to say those words: “I’m sorry.”
Emotional Responsibility
You may think that because this individual who once consciously made choices which caused you a tremendous amount of pain or brought you such extreme personal hardship you have no emotional responsibility to them anymore. You may smugly think, “See, I was right. I knew he/she would eventually be sorry.” You might even coldly and callously believe that their suffering is deserved.
I have news for you.
When someone comes to you out of a deep, personal need for forgiveness and redemption, my experience with card readings insists that he or she is doing more than simply trying to make themselves feel better by apologizing for their own hurtful mistakes of the past.
That individual is essentially making you emotionally responsible as a result of that apology, putting you in the position of having to make an appointment with your own future by facing a critical fork in the road:
Whether to reach out with a new, deeper sense of human understanding achieved through your own personal growth or to remain emotionally stunted, incapable of forgiveness, doomed to continue living a rather shallow and narrow existence for yourself.
Questions? Contact Deborah Leigh via email .
Being unable to forgive even the most heinous mistakes on the part of another, seriously impedes our own emotional and spiritual growth for the future. It casts a shadow over all of our existing relationships. It prevents us from truly loving another human being. It makes it impossible for us to bring healthy, positive resolve to broken relationships of the past through such healing so that we can freely move forward and achieve genuine happiness for ourselves in the future.
Taking that Step
Should you accept an apology when someone offers you one? I say, absolutely. Even if you aren’t ready to completely “forgive.” Take the step. Begin your journey toward that deeper understanding and from merely trying, one step at a time, it will surely come.
Strive to work through any lingering issues you might have where this person is concerned in private, on your own time. Remember, you circumvent your own growth process by continuing to hold him/her hostage to your own emotional shortcomings. Allow this individual to be as human and predisposed to human failing as you are.
It’s through such failings that we are actually able to learn and grow together. From such learning and growth comes power in our relationships, power to make them the best that they can possibly be.
Aside from true abiding love, nothing comes through in psychic readings as clear-cut nor as meaningfully as feelings of genuine regret and sorrow. I’ve yet to conduct a reading for anyone who didn’t, at one point or another, sincerely yearn for forgiveness from a loved one over a serious mistake in personal judgment made in the past.
Whether it was a betrayal between friends, infidelity on the part of a mate, or a breach of faith between family members, eventually the need for forgiveness and redemption simply can’t be avoided any longer.
To personally witness the true power of forgiveness for yourself, send a brief note to someone who has hurt you deeply in the past, simply expressing those three extremely difficult words, “I forgive you.”
Watch what happens.
You won’t be sorry for taking such a strong, courageous step…I guarantee it!
Questions? Contact Deborah Leigh via email .
2 Responses to “The Power of the “F” Word”
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If these Celebs would use all the money they make for our entertainment for some good then I would have no heartburn with them getting paid millions of dollars for entertaining us. Most of them sit on all of it and use it to make more money. How many millions of dollars can they spend a year, I am sure it is more then they are spending. So Brad and Angie spend a million dollars on rebuilding New Orleans, I am sure between them they could afford to spend 20 million on New Orleans. I say quit hoarding all of this money and use it for some good. But the funny part of it is that no matter how much they spent in the last year down there, it is all for nothing with Gustav heading that way.
Maybe if they spent the 20 million that they could of had better equipment to handle the flood waters.